Another Failed Attempt in Weaning II

Since this morning, Rachel's requests to latch for milk had been declined and though super heartaching, I persevered all the way til her nap time. 

 

Earlier, I had tried to express milk into a bottle and I thought, if Rachel had watched the expression, she might take to the milk knowing that it's my milk afterall, but I soon found out that the suction of the breastpump is no longer competant compared to a toddler's suckling and I didn't manage to get alot of milk out.  She had been making light requests to latch whilst I was expressing but would gently stroke my arms, kiss me when I told her that I couldn't feed her.  From this scenario, I thought, hey, I may succeed afterall but no...  Around noon, her requests to latch got stronger and when I offered her the bottled EBM, she strongly refused, recalling the taste she'd experienced last night(she covered her mouth)... She even lost her apetite over lunch and I began to wonder if I'm forcing it too strongly on her.  Not all kids react readily to the weaning process at the same age after all.  With half finished lunch, she cried, she 'begged' "mama please, mama please...." and cried non-stop.........

 

Normally, she wouldn't lie on my shoulder for more than 5seconds but today, when I told her that I'd carry her to sleep(when I refused to nurse her), she lied on my shoulder for the longest time, sobbing away, and when I told her that I'd carry her on my arms til she sleeps, she didn't protest either...  Minutes later, all the cryings must have made her really tired 'cos she showed big signs of falling into sleep and she even allowed me to put her on her bed and pat her to sleep! I kissed her cheeks just before she fell into dreamland and told her that I love her and that she's done well and I saw a smile on her tear-stained face, :(.

 

The above brief narration does seem to make my weaning process seemed successful, doesn't it? But no, it's not...  Soon, I caught on the 'mummy weaning bug' - hormonal changes...  Surprisingly, this came on super fast!  Signs of depression slowly seeped into me and before I knew it, I was tearing away at the laptop, whilst making payment online!(Good thing Renee had gone to the pool with the helper, else I'd have to face her numerous questions and I don't think I'd be ready for that).  Earlier, whilst googling for tips on a less traumatic weaning process for Rachel, I came upon an article that told me that bf weaning will also affect the mother due to hormonal changes when she stops breastfeeding.

 

Although b/fed, Rachel is not as attached to me as Renee had been but during this short weaning period, she showed signs of clinginess, separation anxiety and she kept 'mama please, mama please' me..... I guess I'm also not ready to wean her, and decided to give ourselves abit more time.

When Rachel awoke from her nap, she smiled at me but pouted immediately when I 'pretended' to deny her of her request to latch again...  Even after I've given in to her request(I continue telling her that I'd need her to stop latching one day soon), she still clung to me like never before...

 

In any case, out of love for the kid, I've failed in my weaning mission and for now, I can only pray that she would one day, soon, self-wean herself off b/feeding...